Me is yes very good at Engrish.

I happened to stumble across this the other day and thought that it was an outstanding example of the kind of thing we are working with here. The following is an original piece of Chinglish - Enjoy.

Edison

Holle, everybody, today, my Topic is Edison.
Hes name is Edison, he is invent a light bule superb, everyone is very like he and respect he, he from is in Amrica, is a very good country, and he old is year old, but he is die, his job is inventor, is so good job.
His look like medium, and face, is slender, and hair, is wavy hair, and eyes, is so pretty, and is dor is blue! nose, is medium, lips too, but, he has a special things, he has a so good soul, I'm didn't have.
He is intelligent, because he is invent a light bule, didn’t have pepol has his smart, so, we has very appreciate he invent a light bule!
I'm very like this person very well, Because he was very patient, but I don't want to be like this person, Because I'm didn't has patient. last, we can learn patient, sometimes, extensive learn.

Question and Answer section:

1) Will you be sleeping in class well your teacher is talking?
No, I'm wasn't be sleeping in class, will my teacher is talking.

2) Are there many package toys in your bathroom?
No, there are many package are toys in my bathroom.

1000 points to those of you who can point out what is wrong here.

Oo Ah How Bizarre!

It is a truth universally acknowleged that a single weekday in possession of a day off, must be in want of some rocks. Isn't that the way the saying goes? Anyway. A few weeks back now it was Tomb Sweeping day. A national holiday where you are meant to go and clean to tombs of your now passed family. For us Hess teachers, it means a day off work. So when a newly aquired friend said why didn't we go up north and see some rocks, I scratched my head and attempted to look intrigued. Ok why not, I said and so on a Wednesday morning we headed off to Taipei to meet up.





Now, you may be wondering what is so special about some rocks, as indeed was I. It turned out that a small fishing village called Yelio's claim to fame is a rock that when looked at from a particular angle turns out to look a great deal like the head of an Egyptian Queens head. It also boasts a number of other 'interesting' formations in a number of interesting shapes. For example: a hippo, a fairy's slipper, tofu, the queens head and many more.



One of the areas most entertaining features is its warning signs and attempts to maintain 'order'. As you walk in there is a sign that can be seen in many places around the world, but this one have the added delight of being translated into Engrish. There is also a huge thick red line actually painted along the rocks well in front of the not so crashing waves with a sign saying 'do not cross.' Anyway, it turned out to be a good day out for all, and now I can say that I have seen some of Taiwans ' treasures'. I will now leave you with some photos of the wonderful sights that can be seen in Yelio - the north coast of Taiwan, and some of us being very taiweegie...

The Small One on the Left

So I decided that I had better try and add something so that this doesn't look like a one sided effort. I am the small one on the left of the photo that my flatmate was talking about. You can call me Mouse, but I do sometimes respond to Rebecca. I have been here for 3 years and two months. It was never intended to be that long - but it has worked out well so far. To my friends who so kindly placed bets on how long I would last here (I think I was given 6 moths at the longest ) ... I showed you. And so - on with the show..............

Todays topic of conversation is "Taiwanese Driving".
I know that a lot of kiwis like to complain about Asian drivers. I was one of them before I left. The whole parking in the middle of the road, either driving way to fast or way to slow, having the biggest and nicest cars around. The move from Asia to NZ is a pretty easy one - have you seen how much space we have on our roads in NZ? So the real test is to try driving on their home turf and see how well you do. There are few simple rules for driving in Taiwan (although I am quite sure that they would work just as well in other Asian countries too).

1. Stopping at red lights is optional.
It doesn't matter how big the intersection is (it just matters if there are police stationed at it). If you are on a scooter this is a little more difficult to follow than if say you are in a huge truck or bus. However, so long as the light as only just turned red - you still have a chance to weave in and out of the traffic coming at you from the side. Toot your horn and away you go.

2. There is no such thing as a pedestrian crossing.
Sure we have the little green man showing us when we can walk, and even counting down how long we have. That doesn't mean that anybody driving anything is EVER going to stop for you.

3. Fast or Slow - it is up to you.
While there are speed limit signs posted on some roads, driving speed is some what of a personal
decision. I know that it is hard juggling your two cellphones, the dog, 2 kids, the in-car DVD player, and wear your high-heeled shoes - who am I to ask that you drive at anything that is close to a safe speed? The taxi drivers and the blue trucks (kinda of like a ute in NZ) are the ones you have to watch out for. They have two speeds - 'stopped' and 'blur in the rear view mirror, what the hell is that, where did he go?'. However the speedo on my scooter doesn't even work - so I have no right to tell you how fast to drive.

4. Parking - Anywhere you can get a space.
Taiwan is not very big - about the size of Southland I have been told. Thus, it stands to reason that there is not so much room to park the family car(s). With parking spaces in new apartment buildings making up a fifth of the price tag, it's not all that surprising that the local attitude to parking is kinda relaxed. It is more than common to see cars double parked 2 wide on the side of the street. The average street has been widened to accommodate this - the local government is so caring. So the general rule goes - if you put on your hazard lights - you can park where ever you like.

There are of course more rules - but I have to keep a little something in reserve.

Hmm..having some problems. I have had some emails saying that people are having trouble posting things on this blog. If anyone ie the man in Germany, know how blogs actually work, send an email explaining it...please....

First attempt

Hmm, what to start with...well, I had some free time and I thought that I'd attempt to create a blog. So here it is.

So, what to say? Umm. Still in Taiwan teaching...trying to decide wether or not to resign for another 6 months or not and testing out the wonders of modern computer technology. The picture is of all the fine young ladies that I have been working with over the last year or so. Sorry to say that 3 of them have returned home - but the small one on the left I live with. I am the one in the middle with the black shirt. Which incidently reads "Humpty Dumpty was pushed." Ok well I am setting this up for the flatmate and I to see what we can do with it so let's see what happens. Oh and sorry for the strange layout...not quite was I was going for but no worries. The above is our dog by the way. His name is Dusitn and he speaks both English and Chinese....